The Hard Truth About Self-Awareness in Leadership
I used to think I had it all figured out. I was ambitious, driven, and relentless in my pursuit of success. In my mind, leadership meant setting goals, hitting numbers, and pushing forward at full speed. It wasn’t until a mentor sat me down and said, “Ron, you have a lot of talent, but unless you change your ways, I’m going to fire you. At your core, you’re an asshole.” That moment hit me like a ton of bricks.
How could I be the problem? I was getting results! But as I took a step back, I realized that the very traits that helped me succeed were also the ones holding me back. I was so focused on outcomes that I had completely lost sight of how I was showing up as a leader. I had let my dominant personality overshadow my ability to listen, connect, and build up those around me. And that realization changed everything.
The Journey to Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is a buzzword in leadership, but let’s be honest—most leaders don’t actively work on it. It’s uncomfortable. It requires admitting that maybe, just maybe, you’re the bottleneck in your own success. But if you want to build something sustainable, if you want to create a culture that thrives, self-awareness isn’t optional—it’s foundational.
So, where do you start? Here’s what I’ve learned:
Understand Who You Really Are – We all have default settings. For me, my DISC profile showed that I was a high D (Dominance), meaning I was laser-focused on results, sometimes at the expense of relationships. Recognizing this allowed me to adjust how I communicated with different people, ensuring my leadership was more effective and my team more engaged. Tools like DISC, StrengthsFinder, or even a simple self-reflection exercise can help you uncover your own wiring.
Seek Brutally Honest Feedback – That gut-punch moment from my mentor? That was invaluable. But you don’t have to wait until someone calls you out. Proactively seek feedback from your team, your peers, and even your clients. Ask them, How do I show up? What’s it like working with me? And—this is crucial—don’t get defensive. Take it in, process it, and decide what you’re going to do about it.
Turn Self-Awareness into Action – Knowing yourself is one thing. Doing something about it is another. Once I realized my leadership gaps, I started making intentional changes. I learned to listen more, to temper my intensity when needed, and to meet people where they were. Leadership isn’t about changing who you are; it’s about refining how you show up for others.
Recognize That Leadership is a Journey, Not a Destination – I didn’t become a better leader overnight. It took time, trial and error, and a willingness to be uncomfortable. The best leaders are always learning, always evolving, and always looking for ways to be better. Self-awareness isn’t a one-and-done deal—it’s a lifelong process and you can and will continue to make mistakes along the way.
Why This Matters for Your Business
If you’re running a business, scaling a team, or leading an organization, your self-awareness directly impacts your success. Your leadership sets the tone. It creates the culture. It determines whether your people are engaged or just showing up for a paycheck. When you are building a business, you have to build the people that will help build it WITH you and not FOR you. It’s not just about hiring the right people—it’s about leading and helping them grow the right way, in an environment they want to be in and grow from.
Take a step back and start with….would YOU……work for You?